J

What it means to me……

I am healthy

I am employed

I am loved

I am NOT homeless

The rest of the stuff will work itself out. (Not by itself, of course) But it will.

Just need to remember it from time to time.

this is me doing just that.

J

Movies describe love as something spotted from across the room, something that is instant, a spark or lightning bolt in some cases. Love is something that happens during some of the saddest or craziest times in the movies. Over a funeral perhaps? At an adventure park? A party between strangers? It is quite humorous to me. People want that type of love, hell who wouldn’t? But that is not how love works. Love cannot be wrapped into a small little package, say 90 minutes. Love is wonderful and amazing but it is HARD. And takes lots of work.

Now commercials would tell you if you love someone, BUY them something. This could not be further from the truth, and if the person you are with can be bought, run, run far and run fast, because I can guarantee you that money doesn’t buy love, ask Trump or Hef. It can only lease it. And do you really wanna lease love? Cause leased love gets horrible millage.

Now Love, TRUE love. Or Twu Wuv, as one of my favorite movies would say, that is the stuff you want. That is the stuff worth fighting over. Getting back to the discussion me and K were having, I told her that while the pretty ring on her finger was nice, it didn’t show my love for her. Just like the less than pretty (my choice) ring on my finger didn’t show her love for me. K and I have a habit of talking in bed, almost every night

As we sit in bed each night I know I will be sleeping well when she reaches out her foot and touches mine. We have a king size bed so we have space, but that foot. Just saying, hi, it is more comforting than words. Everynight we are in bed together we do that. That is love.

Sleeping in a chair after my shoulder ( I had to sleep upright) surgery so she wasnt far away. That is love.

Cleaning me up in the shower after a car wreck in a hospital shower. That is love.

I know my wife loves me and I have done similar things for her, to say there would toot my own horn. But I take care of her as well.

I guess what it comes down too, and I wanted to get this out of my head was, love is how you act. Not what you buy or say. That’s my take on it. I am sure I forgot to say a few things so maybe more later.

Facta non Verbum Deeds not words. (another quote from my father. and some older guy)

If you are lucky enough to have found love. Enjoy it, embrace it. fight for it. It’s worth it.

I know.

J

So my rather old body has been moving boxes, carrying couches, and doing all other body numbing tasks.

So as I woke today, and told myself, take the day off, I reached for the bottle of advil and rolled back over into bed to snooze some more.

My wife and daughter took off to go shopping, and spend mother daughter time together, I call it that because it means I get the house to myself.

I was sitting watching T.V. when I got a knock on my door, it was one of my neighbors. Apparently the night before, some rather unsavory kids or young adults  took it upon themselves to take black and green spraypaint and color my new cedar fence. Did I get my day off, no. I spent it power washing my new fence, and while a lot of it came off not all of it did without destroying my fence. I am Jack’s rage. (please tell me you are movie savvy enough to get that quote)

I cannot fathom what would go through a teenagers or young adults mind. I was young once, and I was a rotten kid as well. But I NEVER, never hurt someone elses property. I built this fence myself. (Friends did help) But this was a weekend project. I am flabbergasted. I am hurt, I am saddened. Most of all I am pissed off.

I would very much like to find a car or object of the criminals who did this and deface it so they knew the pain. Now, I know you are saying, they won’t learn any lesson. But everyone cares about something, and if I knew what theirs was it would have my eight lettered last name written on it in black spray paint.

So tomorrow, I will power wash again and break out a dark stain and pray I can have a normal looking fence in my suban neighborhood.

But tonight I wont sleep as well. Because something was taken from me. And it hurt.

J

Me on the other hand, well I have been called a movie snob more than once. I feel that if I am going to shell out 10 bucks for a movie ticket and another 10 for snacks I should be totally honest in what I thought of the movie. Now I always waited till after the movie. Always. You see, the older I get the more I dislike other people. Especially other people in movies theaters with me. They talk and shift and bring newborn babies and text and talk on their phones. Those of you who do it know who you are, it would be nice if this post would change your ways, but I know it won’t. I only hope one day someone does the same thing to you when you are trying to enjoy something. Karma is alive and well in my world.

But that was a bit of a tangent, I decided that if I simply held off for 6 months I would circumvent movie theaters altogether. No more 5 dollar popcorn, No more 5 dollar Jr. Mints. It was the perfect plan, and it worked. We made it through the rough times and actually used Blockbuster for the reason it was created, to watch movies you have never seen. Cheaper. Hell they even mail them to me. The cool thing about watching a movie at home, you don’t get as annoyed if it sucks. You’re just like, well that was bad, and you move on. You don’t have the sting of over priced tickets and food on top of a crappy movie. It was pleasant.

However, I am still a movie fan, some movies need to be seen on the bg screen. Iron Man, The new Star Trek. Both great movies and they were better when they were larger than life, larger than sound. It was great. And to the girl and boy sitting behind me and my wife, I am sure you were on a date, next time, go find somewhere to park, and you’ll get less looks from me. Anyway, it appears I inherited tangents from my father.

I will get to the point. I recently just bought tickets to see the new Transformers movie. My family loved the first movie, we are looking forward to seeing it tomorrow. I found myself reading my geek websites. Reviewing the movie, it sucks, they shouldn’t have made another one. So on and so forth. Tickets already purchased I found myself thinking that maybe we shouldn’t go to the movies tomorrow. What if it sucks?I have a lot of fond memories of going to movie with my father. It’s too bad

What if it doesn’t? Either way I am going out with my family. (which is important) And we will watch TF2. And Jerry better have done a damn good job. (I can call you Jerry right?).  There isn’t really a point to this post it’s more of a jumble of thoughts. Well if you need a point here goes. Critics can ruin movies before you even see them, and people can ruin movies while your in them. Either way, after tomorrow, I am heading back to blockbuster and my big screen tv and surround sound.

Bumble Bee is still my favorite.

J

Now I am worried I won’t make the week.

I love you C and couldn’t be more proud of you.

J

I am lucky in life, probably luckier than most, I have a Dad that I can call 24 hours a day, I know this because I have tested the limits, I remember when I had my first apartment, I had gotten myself into a particular mess, I struggled and waited till about 3am, then drove to my parents house because I was going to be locked out of my apt. 3am, he asks if I am ok and whats wrong, not lectures, no yelling, just said yes, of course I will help. And that is what he did, next morning I had the money and it was never mentioned again. Even said that it must have been hard asking for help and that he was happy too. Pretty cool huh? That’s just the tip of the iceberg that is my Dad.

Between the ages of 13 and 16, he and I would go to movies, we would take turns picking, and by that I mean he let me choose most of the time unless it was just really something he didn’t wanna see.  Video games were just being placed in theaters and he would leave early with me so we could play a game or 5 before the previews started, even occasionally playing a game himself. Then I would conveniently forget my wallet and he would pay for the movie, popcorn and drinks. We both know I had my wallet, it was just empty.

But when I really knew I had something special was when I was getting older, building my career, starting a family, buying a house. He was there, keeping an eye out for me, offering advice, not getting annoyed if I didn’t listen to him, if it didn’t work out he would help, if it did, he was happy. I guess what I am saying is that I have more than a dad, I have a friend. A best friend. I think what I have is special, I know it is special because we tell each other. If it is one thing that is not missing in our relationship it is the fact that we are each others biggest fans.

We call each other almost daily, and you can check the records of our phones that most conversations are less than a minute, it isn’t so much to actually talk, but just to take the time hear each others voice and know we are okay. And should we need more than a minute, time is always taken, always.

I remember when I was young, I came home from school and my mother had received flowers from him. I asked what they were for, she said, no reason, that is how you really know someone appreciates you. That impressed me, it set a precedent in the core of my being, I hope other children out there were affected by their parents that much. To this day I still try to make sure my wife knows I love and appreciate her, on non holidays.

So this weekend, pick up the phone, write a letter, or even email, if you parent knows how to respond (mine does because he has high speed internet). Even if its been years, weeks or days. Tell dad hi and that you love him. I know I will. I have other stories but I will save them. Expect to hear more about my Dad, he is pretty awesome.

So Dad, I know you know it, but I am going to say it again, I love you. You are a GREAT man, just remember, when you tell me how proud you are of me, know that you are one of the reasons I am successful, in Life, Work, Family, anything.

I love you Dad,

Happy Fathers Dad

J

This disturbs me, because it gives power to others too much, isn’t it up to me if I get disturbed? Do people really have that much control? Can someone say something to you and affect your mood? Your disposition? If so perhaps you should take a step back and look inward, or pay someone to help you look inward.

In this country of countries, our democracy, it should be majority rule. Not the vocal minority. Now, however, it is NOT their fault the world, our world, my world, has gotten this way. It is OUR fault. It is too easy to sit back and watch TV and say, “that sucks, that shouldnt be that way”. Then change the channel. If it does suck say something. If it isn’t right speak up. Lord knows the other side is speaking up loud and clear.

Now, should the vocal minority, meet the vocal majority, who do you think they (they being the suits, the people who freak out when people bitch), would listen too? See where I am going with this? Now I too am guilty of this, though the older I get the more I get riled up about it. Maybe its time to get riled up when you are younger, I mean, riled, well it just sounds old doesn’t it? While the word might be old you do NOT have to be old to do it. So get your rile on.

I know some of my geek brothers and sisters have gotten upset at the cancellation of a TV show. So you break out your emails and twitters and facebooks and you swoop into action (I have them all as well). Same concept. Government officials have email, so do big wig executives. And should they start to be flooded, well the vocal minority will not be so loud will they? Do you really want someone deciding what you should watch, read, listen too, do?

Now that is just a small facet of the PC issue going around, somewhere in there the worlds sense of humor disappeared as well. My dad has a saying, take it with a grain of salt, and while I know he did not coin it, people should heed it.People are offended more easier than ever before. Why is this? Does anyone know? Tell me there is a scientists are out there performing tests in a lab on hypersensitive people. PLEASE. Long drawn out painful tests. With needles. The world in general just needs to take 2 chill pills and call me next decade. Up the chai tea intake and stop being so damn sensitive. Diversity, that word is praised, I am diverse, we are diverse, isn’t being diverse just another way of pointing out differences? What happened to melting pot? Isn’t that the bases with which this country was created? Take it all, skin color, accents, dispositions, put it in a pot and see what comes of it. Not seperate it all out and set it side by side by side. Can’t we all just go back to being Americans again?

J

Do I need a phone? Sure, I can think of tons of reasons why I need it. Work, family, friends, joke texts, all manner of reasons. Now does my daughter need a phone? Here is where I and a lot of parents out there disagree, if you are one of those parents, fine, your kid, your choice,  I will just have my kid use your phone to call me when she needs too. (thanks btw). No, my child does NOT need a phone.

Why do I feel this way? Well, I just think kids are way too spoiled nowadays (not to mention out of control), and I should know, I was spoiled rotten as a kid (thanks mom & dad). Do I know where my kid is going, yes,  and if she doesnt check in after a designated time, I go after her, I know her friends and I kn0w parents. I have a problem with parents not wanting to parent anymore, drop them off somewhere and let whatever establishment watch them. That is another rant so I will get back to the cell phones.

My kid forgets where her shoes are, she forgets to brush her hair, she forgets what time it is, and she needs a phone? Nah, I don’t think so. Most of her friends have phones, if not all of them, so I am the mean guy, I am the mean dad who doesnt let her text her friend sitting in the chair next to her, I am the mean dad who doesnt let her sneak phone call late at night to say things like. “What are you doing? Nothing. Me either, there is a new Jonas coming on, lets watch it.”

Will she get a phone? Yes, someday, probably sooner than later (12 or 13 perhaps. I didn’t get a land line till I was 15 or 16 and I shared that with my sister), but I will fight tooth an nail. She will thank me later (I often have delusions of granduer). Just as I thanked my dad for making me build character. It is for the best, one day she will probably have a phone built into her ear and she will think back and remember when she never had one.

And if I haven’t in a while. Thanks Dad. I love you.

J

Hell I dunno, I did it because I guess I have a lot to say, or at the very least a little to say occasionally. I am doing this because I wanna write down my thoughts from time to time, and well, I have just enough of an ego to think that maybe someone else might wanna read them.

I have been a husband, as of today’s date almost 11 years. My wife K is a difficult woman who I love dearly. I call her difficult because she takes nothing from me, none of my bs or flack. Am I so difficult she should be sainted? Far from it, but she is a good woman and takes care of me. She is one of the most artistic people I have ever met in my life. Add that to the already list of things she is, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, funny. Well you get it, I am lucky.

I have been a father for 10 years. My daughter (C) is a being all her own, she is athletic, dramatic, funny, she is amazing. And she scares the bejesus out of me. She has a dash of myself and my wife in her, so that makes one complex individual. She makes me smile bigger than ever before and keeps me up at night with thoughts of how I care for her.

I have been a Son for 38 years. I am my fathers son, I will speak about my dad quite a bit I imagine, he shaped me into the person I am today and for that I am grateful. He is my go to person, thoughts, questions, rants and compliments, he does what ever persons dad should do….LISTEN, then talk. Should I feed his advice he supports me, should I not, he supports me. Quite possible the best father a child could ask for, I know I am biased, sue me.

My mother passed away last year. The kind of woman that people gravitated too, she was an artist, through and through, the world has a hole in it since she left.  My memories of her are peppered with an interesting past. I will share from time to time about her, but that will be later. I miss you mom.

This is a pretty simple concept, I talk and spill my guts and I feel better for not bottling them up, and maybe just maybe someone else reads it and feels better because they are not so alone in their trials and tribulation. Who knows. I know I don’t.

I will of course not be limited to just the above subjects, being my journal I can talk about anything I see fit so expect random entries from time to time, a movie I want to share, or a game, or even some rant, which I am pron too, when I feel the fools of the world have gotten to close to me so I feel the need to shake off their touch with a post. Either way, this is my blog, nice to meet you.

J